Follow these easy steps to good health, losing those extra pounds of chicken from last weekend, and that glowing skin from the insurgency of life force.
1. Make sure you are mentally prepared for running.
You spilt some juice on your new shoes?! What is the point you're trying to make? You can't run unless you get those stains out? Fine! Clean it up quick.
You've been at it for 30mins now! Sigh! It's too late now. Let's try again tomorrow.
2. Wake up early.
Wake up! Wake up! What do you mean you forgot to put the alarm? Sheesh! Just... fine! Tomorrow!
3. Get plenty of sleep!
It's 5:30 in the A.M, and I'm glad you're up... sort of. Huh? So what if you slept only 7.5 hours?!
You need a solid 8 hours of sleep, because you don't want to start the jog tired? What kind of logic is that? Fine! Tomorrow!
4. Drink tons of water hours before you run.
What's your excuse this morning, that you forgot to drink water the previous day? No wait. You're saying you're feeling dehydrated because you peed all the water you drank last night? Oh My God! Fine! Let's try this again the next day. Don't forget to drink just enough water this time.
5. Maintain rhythmic breathing.
NO! Yawning constantly does not count as rhythmic breathing. Show some... hey! Where are you heading? You're going in the wrong direction! Stop! You're running...oh. You're running home to bed. WT...!
6. Maintain a steady pace.
You're finally out and running. Or rather jogging. Well, maybe it isn't exactly a jog, but more like a brisk walk. Strike that. It's an evening stroll. Well, just do a good job at it, will you? Try maintaining that pace. What are you doing?! Don't stop! You just started walking! Dognabit! Alright! FINE! Think your way to good health. I give up! You just don't want to jog. Why don't you go play some Wii Sport then, won't you?
1. Make sure you are mentally prepared for running.
You spilt some juice on your new shoes?! What is the point you're trying to make? You can't run unless you get those stains out? Fine! Clean it up quick.
You've been at it for 30mins now! Sigh! It's too late now. Let's try again tomorrow.
2. Wake up early.
Wake up! Wake up! What do you mean you forgot to put the alarm? Sheesh! Just... fine! Tomorrow!
3. Get plenty of sleep!
It's 5:30 in the A.M, and I'm glad you're up... sort of. Huh? So what if you slept only 7.5 hours?!
You need a solid 8 hours of sleep, because you don't want to start the jog tired? What kind of logic is that? Fine! Tomorrow!
4. Drink tons of water hours before you run.
What's your excuse this morning, that you forgot to drink water the previous day? No wait. You're saying you're feeling dehydrated because you peed all the water you drank last night? Oh My God! Fine! Let's try this again the next day. Don't forget to drink just enough water this time.
5. Maintain rhythmic breathing.
NO! Yawning constantly does not count as rhythmic breathing. Show some... hey! Where are you heading? You're going in the wrong direction! Stop! You're running...oh. You're running home to bed. WT...!
6. Maintain a steady pace.
You're finally out and running. Or rather jogging. Well, maybe it isn't exactly a jog, but more like a brisk walk. Strike that. It's an evening stroll. Well, just do a good job at it, will you? Try maintaining that pace. What are you doing?! Don't stop! You just started walking! Dognabit! Alright! FINE! Think your way to good health. I give up! You just don't want to jog. Why don't you go play some Wii Sport then, won't you?
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