Q&A Time: Potholes

Hello again, my confused friends. It's that part of the blog where I answer an imaginary someone's conjured up question pertaining to giant lizards, fleeing bridesmaids, or penguins that are susceptible to being tickled.
Welcome to,

'Hypothetical Questions & Answers'

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Today's question comes from Raj of Generic City, India. He asks,

Q:

Dear Blogger/Vimal/I.I,

Generic City has a lot of tarred roads, and is in general considered a relatively rich city due to the burgeoning IT industry. This service industry has resulted in a very rich middle class. Regardless of how rich the city may seem, come monsoon season, all the roads get battered with potholes.

My question is, who is to blame and how can we help maintain good pothole-free roads?

A:

Dear Raj,

Let me indulge you in a bit of a background story, which will help you understand my later explanation.
As the middle class continues working for a huge chunk of every day by sitting in front of their computer desks, their lack of physical exertion or exercise becomes apparent. They develop what I'd like to call 'Corporate Fat' around their waists. Corporate fattened bellies are different from normal big bellies in that, they resist change to their shape on application of an external physical force.

Reason for your problem. 

During the rainy season, people tend to spend a lot of time indoors, eating tons of hot fried snacks. This will lead to a general unhealthy feeling, and almost everyone will want to try jogging to lose some weight and be healthy again.

These potbellied people end up going on early morning jogs. If it rains or even drizzles, these joggers tend to slip and fall onto their tummies. This leads to the creation of potholes.

Solution to the problem
One thing you will notice is that each pothole has its own unique shape and depth (fingerprint of the pothole, if you will). Matching this to the corresponding potbellied IT worker, you can find the culprit who has damaged government property (the road). A hefty fine will prevent any such ambitious plans in the future.

Hope this answer has helped. Thank you for mailing in your question.

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That's it folks! If any of you have hypothetical questions you'd like answered, please feel free to trouble me anytime. 

Until then, I bid you, vida!

Q&A Time: Unbearable Best Friends

Hello my confused friends. It's that space again in the blog, where I answer a fictional someone's conundrum pertaining to life, technology and cookies. Welcome to,

 'Hypothetical Questions & Answers'

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The question of the space comes from Sam of Crouquette City, who asks,

Q: 

Dear Blogger/Vimal/I.I,

I have a best friend who's always been there for me, through thick and thin. I know he's always got my back, and we generally have a good time. But of late, he seems to have become annoying. He causes great pain and grief by getting in the way of everything. He acts crazy sometimes.
For instance, I was deeply hurt when he lay passed out in the middle of the street like a drunk hobo. If I wasn't there, he'd probably have been walked over by those busy downtown businessmen. He has let go of himself, and hasn't shaved for ever.

We don't see eye to eye these days, and there are occasions where I had to chase him away.

Can you please help me solve this issue?

A:

Dear Sam,

This situation is surprisingly pretty common among big-tailed dogs like you. I suggest you get used to your tail being there.

You could surgically remove it, but look at how weird a doberman is without its tail. Just be more careful around moving objects like cars and people, and ask your owner to trim your fur all over. It must be the heat, after all.

Follow my advice, and you should be fine. Hope I've been able to help you out. Thank you for sending in your question.

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So that's it for now folks. If you have a hypothetical question that needs answering, ask away! Until next time, I bid you, vida!