Showing posts with label mind-blasting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind-blasting. Show all posts

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Unknown Knowledge: Extinct Animals

Today we'll analyze the extinction of birds and animals, and the controversial circumstances leading to their disappearance.

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Name: Tasmanian Tigers
Method: Specicide; Extermination
Controversial Level



Controversy: In 1936, all the Tasmanian Tigers rallied together to defend their rights against the specism exercised by the Kangaroos Jumping Party and the newcomers, the Dingoes.
Many attempts were made by the ruling mammals and marsupials in curbing this Tasmanian Tiger uprising, but the movement was gaining momentum.
However, all the Tasmanian Tigers suddenly disappeared by the end of the very same year. Since then, various agencies and reporters have tried to uncover the dark truth begind these disappearances, resulting in their disappearances as well. Hence, there will be no further insight into this report.

Fun Fact: Some Tasmanian Tigers thought they were actually related to tigers. Unfortunately for them, on a visit to meet tigers to strengthen their movement, they weren't greeted with the same level of enthusiasm and were sent home in doggy bags.

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Name: Quaggas
Method: Exploitation
Controversial Level



Controversy: Quaggas were the not-so-smart members of the zebra family, and therefore, were heavily picked on. They were made to do all the menial jobs, and often cheated out of their fair share.
The use of the quaggas as zebra shield against predators were kept out of the news until it was too late. Often the quaggas would be made to stand right at the outer periphery of the herd, so that their bland pattern would stick out like a sore thumb. This made the quaggas easy prey for predators to pick out of the crowd.
In 1883, the last quagga gave up her life for the greater good of the herd.

Fun Fact: Quaggas would often fool zebra females into bed, by approaching them head-on. Conspiracy theorists claim that the resultant offspring was made to shun its quagga heritage, and got absorbed completely into the zebra family.

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Name: Passenger Pigeon
Method: Addiction; Substance abuse
Controversial Level:



Controversy: Passenger Pigeons were considered the gypsies of the bird world. They traveled in large numbers, and everywhere they went, they caused chaos and destruction through white wash. Tired with their behaviour, the American Birds Conglomeration (ABC), decided to exploit Passenger Pigeons' one weakness... bird seeds.
The ABC spiked bird seeds with alcohol, and started selling it to the adults for cheap. They also hooked youngsters onto pure and unadulterated bird seeds in powdered form. One led to the other, and soon the Passenger Pigeons were completely addicted.
One by one, Passenger Pigeons were no longer traveling as passengers to different parts of the continent, and had stayed put for way too long. By 1914, the last passenger pigeon became an ordinary pigeon, staying away from the eyes of bird society... still subjecting itself to substance abuse.

Fun Fact: Unreliable reports have it that some Passenger Pigeons have made it onto the board of the ABC, and now getting all the other members addicted to the very same illegal bird seeds.

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Name: The Golden Toads
Method: Statelessness
Controversy Level



Controversy: Golden Toads epitomized peace in Costa Rica. They were a living icon of jungle peace and inter-animal harmony. Unfortunately, their refusal to move from their habitat, containing rich varieties of bugs, prompted other toads and frogs to forcefully take over their pond and shores. The outsiders soon starting torturing the Golden Toads, and cut off their magic mushroom supply causing them to stop glowing.
Unable to bear this kind of treatment, in 1989 the Golden Toads left their habitat under the cover of dampness, and sought refuge in various other ponds and marshes. These refugees have now disappeared completely, and even if they were found, they have no identity or habitat to call their own.

Fun Fact: The Doors have a song dedicated to the Golden Toads, except they mistook them for frogs.

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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Random Fact

Did you know that cold-blooded animals and the temperature of their surroundings are linked?
  • Living in Sahara-like climatic conditions? Hang two psychoactive toads outside your window. These toads will absorb the heat from the surrounding area, and bring the overall temperature down.In addition, lick these toads to be able to read the entrails of a caribou devouring mushroom. This will make the future as foreseeable as the next post on this blog
  • Trying to overthrow that dictator who raised manure production 40 fold? Annoyed that air-freshners are, by law, now available only to the elite? Fear not!
    Present the dictator with a Pygmy Constrictor of the Peipper Forests, convincing him it's a 'unique' one-size -fits-all belt. Make sure this is done during the dead of winter and there's a mansion-wide blackout. The cold will make the constrictor motionless (to preserve energy). Once the dictator is in the presence of warmth (close to a fire or out in the sun), the Pygmy Constrictor will literally squeeze the life out of him.
    Viva la revolución!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Science: Sneeze Power

What is the power of a simple sneeze?
Before we get to the nitty gritty details of a sneeze, we need to understand what is a sneeze, and how it is generated.

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Structure
Your body is actually a miniature empire that is always on the move (controlled by the High Neuron Priests of the temple of Brain). It contains soldiers who fight off invading armies, and are always on high alert against spies and infiltrators.
Soldiers present along the Wall of Mucous are The Body's alarm system. Sometimes though, they tend to fall sleep, or get distracted by the beautiful female family members of R.B.Cells. This is forbidden love, but how it came to be so, will be covered in another post. Enemy soldiers usually wait for this opportunity to try and sneak in.




Working
Enemy soldiers keep trying to enter the empire of The Body. Most of them get caught in the smart trap laid by the soldiers in the Margove trees of the Nose Swamps.
However, these defenses are not always fail-safe, and sometimes a large invading force manages to enter the empire.
When overrun, the mystic priests of the temple of Brain call upon their presiding deity of Vaccuumus Airus. This cowardly deity has an inherent fear of the invading army. This God observes which direction the enemy is in as it rises from the ocean. It then faces the other direction and makes a run for it. The force of the sand sprayed backwards by this God as he flees, results in all the enemies being expelled powerfully.



This is what we call a sneeze.





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Now that we have the structure of working of a sneeze, imagine harnessing it. Imagine harnessing the combined sneezes of all your fellow country men (and women of course). What could the potential uses of this be? Well, let me list them out, my friends.

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Uses

  • Biological Warfare: Sprinkle some disease germs and unleash the collective expullsive force of the National Sneezerator.
  • Ever-ready Rain: Large scale combined sneezes will alter the pressure system in the nation, drawing in moisture laiden clouds from the sea. When this is blocked by the mountains of giant fish bones piled on by that pirate bear crew everyone's been on the lookout for, it should result in a monsoon of heavy sneezefall.
  • National Emergency Siren: Justin Beiber albums invading your country? Is the nation surrounded by twerking GIFs? Fear not! Alert the nation to these calamities, and more, with the help of the Sneeze-iren. This combines the the sound volumes of the whole nation's sneezers, and launches it all at the same time. Everyone is sure to hear it.
  • Prevent surveillance: Unleashing the ever dependable Sneezerator in the desert will create a dust cloud. This will prevent satellite surveillance by foreign countries.
  • Immigration Control: The main result of the sneeze is to remove foreign bodies. So allowing authorities to randomly fire the public with the Sneezegration Law Gun will automatically blow away only the illegal immigrants and terrorists into neighbouring countries.
  • Higher Pardons: The advantageous side effect to using the sneeze theory in protecting the nation, regardless of extreme and brutal force it brings with it, is that it's always followed by a polite 'Excuse me', No nation is resistant to this politeness, and will always result in being 'excused'.

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Stay tuned to this blog, for more exciting Science lessons in the near future.



Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Unknown Knowledge: Inventions

In this epipost of Unknown Knowledge, we shall tackle famous inventors, their inventions and the circumstances that led to these ground breaking creations.

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Invention: Airplane
Inventor: The Wright brothers
Inspiration: The driving force behind this invention is completely attributed to Rhythm & Blues singer, Robert Sylvester Kelly (a.k.a. R. Kelly) and his hit song, 'I Believe I Can Fly'.

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Invention: Ballpoint Pen
Inventor: John Loud

Inspiration: When the whole neighborhood started using his pool, John Loud, contrary to his name, was very meek in trying to dissuade them from using it. So he invented the messy ballpoint pen. He would sneakily drop it into the pool when it was crowded. This would spread a dark blue color, and everyone would be disgusted and get out as quickly as possible.
Also, it could be used to write when not a practical joke device.

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Invention: Automatic Bread Slicer
InventorOtto Frederick Rohwedder

Inspiration: Otto hated shuffling cards. Every time there was poker being played, he would be laughed at since he wasn't able to split the cards.
He quickly googled for remedies and suggestions, and found out that getting things automated was the best solution. Hence he made the automated Card Splitter.
However, his friends laughed at that as well, since it was totally useless while playing cards. Frustration mounted as Otto saw it lying unused on the kitchen slab. All that work was for nothing. He flung the closest thing he could grab at the Card Splitter, and voila! The automated bread slicer was created.

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Invention: Disposable Diaper
Inventor: Marion Donovan

InspirationInitially, Marion invented the disposable diaper for her drunk friends and herself for when they went out partying. It would be worn around the face, and prevented the regurgitated content from spilling to the outside world. A couple of drunk mothers started using the diaper around the wrong end of the baby, but it worked as successfully, if not better. Soon this became the standard.

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Invention: Gas Mask
Inventor: Garrett Morgan

Inspiration:While in school, Garrett Morgan shared a room with a foodie. Every time Garrett Morgan entered his room, it would be filled with hydrogen sulfide-like gases, of varying concentrations. 'Chemistry Experiments!', his roomie would cry out. Due to the constant emissions, Garrett Morgan was unable to sleep, eat, or study in his room anymore. Thence, he created the gas mask.

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Invention: Mechanical Pencil
Inventor: Tokuji Hayakawa

Inspiration: As a kid, Tokuji Hayakawa wasn't very tall, and was always picked on. Rage drove him to plan revenge. He had to do it without anyone knowing. The best place would be in class. So, he created the mechanical pencil. Using this, he was sure that he could get back at his bullies many clicks at a time. As long as they stayed still, for however long it took him to get the pencil lead to the required length, he'd be able to poke them where it'd hurt the most.

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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Song Interpretation

Alright children. Today I'm interpreting the lyrics of the song, 
'What I am', by Edie Brickell

Hold onto your monitors, 'coz it's going to be a less than pleasant read.

'L' stands for the lyrics/line, while 'I' stands for the interpretation.
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L: I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know, if you know what I mean

I: This line of the song definitely indicates a deeper understanding of oneself. Think about it. If you admit you don't know everything, you are admitting you have a long way to go since you are aware of the vast knowledge that exists, and you are just a man standing on the shore of the sea of knowledge.
But then, she mentions the lack of awareness. So it might indicate she doesn't know about the expanse of knowledge.

Summary: So, yeah. I don't know what you mean by what you mean.

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LPhilosophy is the talk on a cereal box


I: Cereal boxes are not to be taken lightly. The composition of cereal boxes are complex. They could be made of virgin cardboard/paper, or recycled. Why, you could even have a mix of both. And we haven't even ventured into the volume that the cereal box can contain. The potential of this is endless. 

Summary: The topic of philosophy is deep and expansive, with that very same effect on the mind, when we indulge in it.



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L: Religion is the smile on a dog

I: Dogs smiling are not a good sign. Humans smiling, and animals smiling never convey the same emotion. Humans smiling (more often than not) convey friendliness. Animals smiling is more like a warning, a grimace even. They serve as a forerunner of bad things to happen if we continue to tread on the same path.

Summary: Religion warns us of dangers that lie ahead and helps prevent bad things from happening to us, IF we interpret it right.

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L: What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what?


I: These lines indicate one specific thing. If you follow the right path, the cycle of infinite births can be broken by the present, as clearly mentioned by the non-repeating word 'IS' in the first line.
The second line gives us insight into how we can break this cycle of birth and rebirth, and that is, what are you is what you are is what are you, or is it?

Summary: Break the circle of infinite births by going the other way. Do things that you wouldn't normally do for the good of yourself and others.




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L: Philosophy is a walk on the slippery rocks

I: When has walking on slippery rocks ever been easy? Well, only when you have walked on many slippery rocks and actually do it for fun now. 

Summary: Philosophy is a lot of fun, especially when you know what you're talking about. You get to watch other not-so-experienced ones slip up and hurt their pride.







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L: Religion is a light in the fog

I: Light in the fog is pretty surreal, but can also be deadly. You see the light and presume it's safe to drive in that direction, but BAM! You just drove over the cliff, following the light you saw from the nearby lighthouse.

Summary: Religion is a blueprint, a general direction you can follow. Interpret it wrong, or follow it blindly, and it can lead to some serious pain.

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L: Choke me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Don't let me get too deep


I: This is clearly the lyricist telling me, and you, my dear readers, that this song isn't meant to be interpreted. If you're over-analyzing this, then you're pretty much killing yourself. So stop right now before you do any analyses.

Summary: The song is not meant to be interpreted. The fact I read this disclaimer so late into the analyses will probably break me, way more than 10 years of solitary confinement will.





Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Medusa's Final Resting Place Found

In a slightly disturbing, yet beautiful series of photos, Nick Brandt introduces us to the surreal presence of Lake Natron in Tanzania.

More than the actual skeletons, I am more disturbed by the fact that Nick Brandt actually places the animals in specific poses to take pictures of them. 

Let me leave you with a couple of pics below.

 

Remember, all the pics are copyrighted, and belong to Nick Brandt. I have no rights over them, and definitely not distributing them.