Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Unknown Knowledge: Extinct Animals

Today we'll analyze the extinction of birds and animals, and the controversial circumstances leading to their disappearance.

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Name: Tasmanian Tigers
Method: Specicide; Extermination
Controversial Level



Controversy: In 1936, all the Tasmanian Tigers rallied together to defend their rights against the specism exercised by the Kangaroos Jumping Party and the newcomers, the Dingoes.
Many attempts were made by the ruling mammals and marsupials in curbing this Tasmanian Tiger uprising, but the movement was gaining momentum.
However, all the Tasmanian Tigers suddenly disappeared by the end of the very same year. Since then, various agencies and reporters have tried to uncover the dark truth begind these disappearances, resulting in their disappearances as well. Hence, there will be no further insight into this report.

Fun Fact: Some Tasmanian Tigers thought they were actually related to tigers. Unfortunately for them, on a visit to meet tigers to strengthen their movement, they weren't greeted with the same level of enthusiasm and were sent home in doggy bags.

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Name: Quaggas
Method: Exploitation
Controversial Level



Controversy: Quaggas were the not-so-smart members of the zebra family, and therefore, were heavily picked on. They were made to do all the menial jobs, and often cheated out of their fair share.
The use of the quaggas as zebra shield against predators were kept out of the news until it was too late. Often the quaggas would be made to stand right at the outer periphery of the herd, so that their bland pattern would stick out like a sore thumb. This made the quaggas easy prey for predators to pick out of the crowd.
In 1883, the last quagga gave up her life for the greater good of the herd.

Fun Fact: Quaggas would often fool zebra females into bed, by approaching them head-on. Conspiracy theorists claim that the resultant offspring was made to shun its quagga heritage, and got absorbed completely into the zebra family.

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Name: Passenger Pigeon
Method: Addiction; Substance abuse
Controversial Level:



Controversy: Passenger Pigeons were considered the gypsies of the bird world. They traveled in large numbers, and everywhere they went, they caused chaos and destruction through white wash. Tired with their behaviour, the American Birds Conglomeration (ABC), decided to exploit Passenger Pigeons' one weakness... bird seeds.
The ABC spiked bird seeds with alcohol, and started selling it to the adults for cheap. They also hooked youngsters onto pure and unadulterated bird seeds in powdered form. One led to the other, and soon the Passenger Pigeons were completely addicted.
One by one, Passenger Pigeons were no longer traveling as passengers to different parts of the continent, and had stayed put for way too long. By 1914, the last passenger pigeon became an ordinary pigeon, staying away from the eyes of bird society... still subjecting itself to substance abuse.

Fun Fact: Unreliable reports have it that some Passenger Pigeons have made it onto the board of the ABC, and now getting all the other members addicted to the very same illegal bird seeds.

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Name: The Golden Toads
Method: Statelessness
Controversy Level



Controversy: Golden Toads epitomized peace in Costa Rica. They were a living icon of jungle peace and inter-animal harmony. Unfortunately, their refusal to move from their habitat, containing rich varieties of bugs, prompted other toads and frogs to forcefully take over their pond and shores. The outsiders soon starting torturing the Golden Toads, and cut off their magic mushroom supply causing them to stop glowing.
Unable to bear this kind of treatment, in 1989 the Golden Toads left their habitat under the cover of dampness, and sought refuge in various other ponds and marshes. These refugees have now disappeared completely, and even if they were found, they have no identity or habitat to call their own.

Fun Fact: The Doors have a song dedicated to the Golden Toads, except they mistook them for frogs.

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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Science: Sneeze Power

What is the power of a simple sneeze?
Before we get to the nitty gritty details of a sneeze, we need to understand what is a sneeze, and how it is generated.

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Structure
Your body is actually a miniature empire that is always on the move (controlled by the High Neuron Priests of the temple of Brain). It contains soldiers who fight off invading armies, and are always on high alert against spies and infiltrators.
Soldiers present along the Wall of Mucous are The Body's alarm system. Sometimes though, they tend to fall sleep, or get distracted by the beautiful female family members of R.B.Cells. This is forbidden love, but how it came to be so, will be covered in another post. Enemy soldiers usually wait for this opportunity to try and sneak in.




Working
Enemy soldiers keep trying to enter the empire of The Body. Most of them get caught in the smart trap laid by the soldiers in the Margove trees of the Nose Swamps.
However, these defenses are not always fail-safe, and sometimes a large invading force manages to enter the empire.
When overrun, the mystic priests of the temple of Brain call upon their presiding deity of Vaccuumus Airus. This cowardly deity has an inherent fear of the invading army. This God observes which direction the enemy is in as it rises from the ocean. It then faces the other direction and makes a run for it. The force of the sand sprayed backwards by this God as he flees, results in all the enemies being expelled powerfully.



This is what we call a sneeze.





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Now that we have the structure of working of a sneeze, imagine harnessing it. Imagine harnessing the combined sneezes of all your fellow country men (and women of course). What could the potential uses of this be? Well, let me list them out, my friends.

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Uses

  • Biological Warfare: Sprinkle some disease germs and unleash the collective expullsive force of the National Sneezerator.
  • Ever-ready Rain: Large scale combined sneezes will alter the pressure system in the nation, drawing in moisture laiden clouds from the sea. When this is blocked by the mountains of giant fish bones piled on by that pirate bear crew everyone's been on the lookout for, it should result in a monsoon of heavy sneezefall.
  • National Emergency Siren: Justin Beiber albums invading your country? Is the nation surrounded by twerking GIFs? Fear not! Alert the nation to these calamities, and more, with the help of the Sneeze-iren. This combines the the sound volumes of the whole nation's sneezers, and launches it all at the same time. Everyone is sure to hear it.
  • Prevent surveillance: Unleashing the ever dependable Sneezerator in the desert will create a dust cloud. This will prevent satellite surveillance by foreign countries.
  • Immigration Control: The main result of the sneeze is to remove foreign bodies. So allowing authorities to randomly fire the public with the Sneezegration Law Gun will automatically blow away only the illegal immigrants and terrorists into neighbouring countries.
  • Higher Pardons: The advantageous side effect to using the sneeze theory in protecting the nation, regardless of extreme and brutal force it brings with it, is that it's always followed by a polite 'Excuse me', No nation is resistant to this politeness, and will always result in being 'excused'.

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Stay tuned to this blog, for more exciting Science lessons in the near future.



Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Unknown Knowledge: Inventions

In this epipost of Unknown Knowledge, we shall tackle famous inventors, their inventions and the circumstances that led to these ground breaking creations.

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Invention: Airplane
Inventor: The Wright brothers
Inspiration: The driving force behind this invention is completely attributed to Rhythm & Blues singer, Robert Sylvester Kelly (a.k.a. R. Kelly) and his hit song, 'I Believe I Can Fly'.

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Invention: Ballpoint Pen
Inventor: John Loud

Inspiration: When the whole neighborhood started using his pool, John Loud, contrary to his name, was very meek in trying to dissuade them from using it. So he invented the messy ballpoint pen. He would sneakily drop it into the pool when it was crowded. This would spread a dark blue color, and everyone would be disgusted and get out as quickly as possible.
Also, it could be used to write when not a practical joke device.

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Invention: Automatic Bread Slicer
InventorOtto Frederick Rohwedder

Inspiration: Otto hated shuffling cards. Every time there was poker being played, he would be laughed at since he wasn't able to split the cards.
He quickly googled for remedies and suggestions, and found out that getting things automated was the best solution. Hence he made the automated Card Splitter.
However, his friends laughed at that as well, since it was totally useless while playing cards. Frustration mounted as Otto saw it lying unused on the kitchen slab. All that work was for nothing. He flung the closest thing he could grab at the Card Splitter, and voila! The automated bread slicer was created.

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Invention: Disposable Diaper
Inventor: Marion Donovan

InspirationInitially, Marion invented the disposable diaper for her drunk friends and herself for when they went out partying. It would be worn around the face, and prevented the regurgitated content from spilling to the outside world. A couple of drunk mothers started using the diaper around the wrong end of the baby, but it worked as successfully, if not better. Soon this became the standard.

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Invention: Gas Mask
Inventor: Garrett Morgan

Inspiration:While in school, Garrett Morgan shared a room with a foodie. Every time Garrett Morgan entered his room, it would be filled with hydrogen sulfide-like gases, of varying concentrations. 'Chemistry Experiments!', his roomie would cry out. Due to the constant emissions, Garrett Morgan was unable to sleep, eat, or study in his room anymore. Thence, he created the gas mask.

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Invention: Mechanical Pencil
Inventor: Tokuji Hayakawa

Inspiration: As a kid, Tokuji Hayakawa wasn't very tall, and was always picked on. Rage drove him to plan revenge. He had to do it without anyone knowing. The best place would be in class. So, he created the mechanical pencil. Using this, he was sure that he could get back at his bullies many clicks at a time. As long as they stayed still, for however long it took him to get the pencil lead to the required length, he'd be able to poke them where it'd hurt the most.

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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

DIY Life Lessons: Self Defense & Escape

Welcome to my Self Defense lesson against attackers.

Consider this scenario. It's 2AM, and you feel like some road-kill BBQ. But you don't have money to rent a car from that cash-only rental service center. There goes your grand plan to drive over potential dinner. 
But wait! You could withdraw money from that ATM no one uses, in that shady part of town no one goes to. What could go wrong? Well, let me tell you what could go wrong. Nothing! Why? Because you're going to follow my tips and tricks!

So here's what you can do to protect yourself.

Use what's in your hands
  • Have you been gnawing on that bone, trying to get at the marrow for the last 20mins? Time to get rid of it. Stick the bone down the attacker's pants and make use of that high frequency whistle you could never hear
  • Make a mess when you apply the lipstick found in your handbag. Bravely walk up to the attacker and offer him a free trial of the best mix of various STDs. Also warn him that he'd have to pay the next time
  • If you have platform shoes, place it one on top of the other to create a higher platform. Climb onto it for easy access to the above fire escape.
    Alternatively, if you have stilettos, wear it backwards to drastically alter your center of gravity. This is perfect to help you gain access to the above fire escape, since you are now walking up the wall.

    Remember
    : When you knock on the window of the first apartment you come across, don't offer the tenant a free trial of the best mix of various STDs in exchange for a phone call
  • Carrying an umbrella with you? Perfect! Use the opened
    umbrella to latch onto a gust of wind and float away to safety. If movies have taught us anything, it's that Mary Poppins was the finest escape AIRtist.
Aim for weak points 
  • Make sure you are stocked on Yo Mama jokes. Unleash them onto the attacker, because everyone knows an attacker's weakness is his mama. By the time he recovers from this onslaught, you'll be miles away
  • Does the attacker frustrate you with his bad grammar? This could mean he had dropped out of school pretty early on. Point out the mistake and correct him. Lecture him on the value of education. Then start the belittling by telling him how his life that's worth next-to-nothing, is actually worth nothing. Shame him into submission and get him to bow his head down. At this point, quickly hit him on the back of his head while it's exposed, and knock him out
  • Question his intelligence with a couple of lateral thinking puzzles. Then question his intelligence regarding him trying to attack you. He will draw a parallel between the two, and will apologize for his mistake. This is where your brain versus brawn logic triumphs
Throw your elbow
  • Always carry artificial limbs and prosthetic arms. Given the opportunity, throw it at the attacker. This should scare him off at the least. 
    Alternatively, he could become your devotee, mistaking you for an Indian Goddess due to the sheer number of arms you have at your disposal.

    Note: How to get rid of people who worship even the ground you walk on, will be covered in a future post

Use your palm 
  • The palm can be used to seriously hurt, injure or even deliver death blows if done correctly. Depending on the region, rattan, coconut or betel palm species are best for this purpose. Make sure to always carry a palm tree when you step out
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That's today's lesson ladies. Remember what I taught you. Stay safe, and enjoy your BBQ.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Story Behind Nursery Rhymes

Jack & Jill - Losing Control Over Life




Jack & Jill were two responsible adults who had decent paying jobs, good set of friends, and a life anyone would love to have. They were leading a good life, but at some point, they began getting bored of the routine and monotony. That's when they decided they wanted to do something different. Unfortunately, that led to an unwanted introduction to crack.

Soon they were hooked. They couldn't spend a day without getting high. Meals made way to crack. Life only seemed to get between sessions of getting high.
To prevent society from knowing this dark secret, they would frequent the desolate subway station, known as 'The Hill', where they would go about satisfying this dangerous craving.

There was a new variant of crack on the streets known as 'H20', which was getting rave reviews from those crack heads who could manage to mumble their pleasure on using it.

The potency of H20 saw Jack & Jill lose their jobs because they couldn't stay off it. Soon enough, Jack was broke having spent all his pounds on attaining H20. As the pail of empty drug packets in the corner started piling up, Jack's bank account and any sign he was earning under the crown, was disappearing.



Out of money and addicted, Jack depended heavily on Jill to get them money so they could get high. Slowly, all the money Jill had saved for their future together was gone as well, and she spiraled into dehumanizing acts to make money.

The end wasn't far from when Jack went broke, and they disappeared soon enough. No one knows what happened to them. To this day, kids are taught the devastating influence of drugs, and especially H20, through the form of a nursery rhyme.

The End



Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Science: Light & Sound

Proof light travels faster than sound can be seen in everyday situations, such as,

  • When a girl slaps a random guy who pinched her backside, you see the guy's head spin because of the impact, before you hear him cry in pain
  • When the same guy jumps the wall of the girl's house in the middle of the night, you see the guard dog bite before the scream and the flight
  • The guy's cheeks flushing red with embarrassment is seen before his friends laughter is heard, as they listen to the guy's night adventure 
  • You see on Facebook that guy changed his status from 'Single' to 'It's Complicated ' thinking that he might actually have a chance at a relationship with that random girl. Then he calls and tells you


Stay tuned for more wonderful science and life instances.