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Showing posts with label Knowledge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Knowledge. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Unknown Knowledge: Extinct Animals
Today we'll analyze the extinction of birds and animals, and the controversial circumstances leading to their disappearance.
Name: Tasmanian Tigers
Method: Specicide; Extermination
Controversial Level: ★★★★
Controversy: In 1936, all the Tasmanian Tigers rallied together to defend their rights against the specism exercised by the Kangaroos Jumping Party and the newcomers, the Dingoes.
Many attempts were made by the ruling mammals and marsupials in curbing this Tasmanian Tiger uprising, but the movement was gaining momentum.
However, all the Tasmanian Tigers suddenly disappeared by the end of the very same year. Since then, various agencies and reporters have tried to uncover the dark truth begind these disappearances, resulting in their disappearances as well. Hence, there will be no further insight into this report.
Fun Fact: Some Tasmanian Tigers thought they were actually related to tigers. Unfortunately for them, on a visit to meet tigers to strengthen their movement, they weren't greeted with the same level of enthusiasm and were sent home in doggy bags.
Name: Quaggas
Method: Exploitation
Controversial Level: ★★★★
Controversy: Quaggas were the not-so-smart members of the zebra family, and therefore, were heavily picked on. They were made to do all the menial jobs, and often cheated out of their fair share.
The use of the quaggas as zebra shield against predators were kept out of the news until it was too late. Often the quaggas would be made to stand right at the outer periphery of the herd, so that their bland pattern would stick out like a sore thumb. This made the quaggas easy prey for predators to pick out of the crowd.
In 1883, the last quagga gave up her life for the greater good of the herd.
Fun Fact: Quaggas would often fool zebra females into bed, by approaching them head-on. Conspiracy theorists claim that the resultant offspring was made to shun its quagga heritage, and got absorbed completely into the zebra family.
Name: Passenger Pigeon
Method: Addiction; Substance abuse
Controversial Level: ★★
Controversy: Passenger Pigeons were considered the gypsies of the bird world. They traveled in large numbers, and everywhere they went, they caused chaos and destruction through white wash. Tired with their behaviour, the American Birds Conglomeration (ABC), decided to exploit Passenger Pigeons' one weakness... bird seeds.
The ABC spiked bird seeds with alcohol, and started selling it to the adults for cheap. They also hooked youngsters onto pure and unadulterated bird seeds in powdered form. One led to the other, and soon the Passenger Pigeons were completely addicted.
One by one, Passenger Pigeons were no longer traveling as passengers to different parts of the continent, and had stayed put for way too long. By 1914, the last passenger pigeon became an ordinary pigeon, staying away from the eyes of bird society... still subjecting itself to substance abuse.
Fun Fact: Unreliable reports have it that some Passenger Pigeons have made it onto the board of the ABC, and now getting all the other members addicted to the very same illegal bird seeds.
Name: The Golden Toads
Method: Statelessness
Controversy Level: ★★★
Controversy: Golden Toads epitomized peace in Costa Rica. They were a living icon of jungle peace and inter-animal harmony. Unfortunately, their refusal to move from their habitat, containing rich varieties of bugs, prompted other toads and frogs to forcefully take over their pond and shores. The outsiders soon starting torturing the Golden Toads, and cut off their magic mushroom supply causing them to stop glowing.
Unable to bear this kind of treatment, in 1989 the Golden Toads left their habitat under the cover of dampness, and sought refuge in various other ponds and marshes. These refugees have now disappeared completely, and even if they were found, they have no identity or habitat to call their own.
Fun Fact: The Doors have a song dedicated to the Golden Toads, except they mistook them for frogs.
Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.
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Name: Tasmanian Tigers
Method: Specicide; Extermination
Controversial Level: ★★★★
Many attempts were made by the ruling mammals and marsupials in curbing this Tasmanian Tiger uprising, but the movement was gaining momentum.
However, all the Tasmanian Tigers suddenly disappeared by the end of the very same year. Since then, various agencies and reporters have tried to uncover the dark truth begind these disappearances, resulting in their disappearances as well. Hence, there will be no further insight into this report.
Fun Fact: Some Tasmanian Tigers thought they were actually related to tigers. Unfortunately for them, on a visit to meet tigers to strengthen their movement, they weren't greeted with the same level of enthusiasm and were sent home in doggy bags.
---
Name: Quaggas
Method: Exploitation
Controversial Level: ★★★★
Controversy: Quaggas were the not-so-smart members of the zebra family, and therefore, were heavily picked on. They were made to do all the menial jobs, and often cheated out of their fair share.
The use of the quaggas as zebra shield against predators were kept out of the news until it was too late. Often the quaggas would be made to stand right at the outer periphery of the herd, so that their bland pattern would stick out like a sore thumb. This made the quaggas easy prey for predators to pick out of the crowd.
In 1883, the last quagga gave up her life for the greater good of the herd.
Fun Fact: Quaggas would often fool zebra females into bed, by approaching them head-on. Conspiracy theorists claim that the resultant offspring was made to shun its quagga heritage, and got absorbed completely into the zebra family.
---
Name: Passenger Pigeon
Method: Addiction; Substance abuse
Controversial Level: ★★
Controversy: Passenger Pigeons were considered the gypsies of the bird world. They traveled in large numbers, and everywhere they went, they caused chaos and destruction through white wash. Tired with their behaviour, the American Birds Conglomeration (ABC), decided to exploit Passenger Pigeons' one weakness... bird seeds.
The ABC spiked bird seeds with alcohol, and started selling it to the adults for cheap. They also hooked youngsters onto pure and unadulterated bird seeds in powdered form. One led to the other, and soon the Passenger Pigeons were completely addicted.
One by one, Passenger Pigeons were no longer traveling as passengers to different parts of the continent, and had stayed put for way too long. By 1914, the last passenger pigeon became an ordinary pigeon, staying away from the eyes of bird society... still subjecting itself to substance abuse.
Fun Fact: Unreliable reports have it that some Passenger Pigeons have made it onto the board of the ABC, and now getting all the other members addicted to the very same illegal bird seeds.
---
Name: The Golden Toads
Method: Statelessness
Controversy Level: ★★★
Controversy: Golden Toads epitomized peace in Costa Rica. They were a living icon of jungle peace and inter-animal harmony. Unfortunately, their refusal to move from their habitat, containing rich varieties of bugs, prompted other toads and frogs to forcefully take over their pond and shores. The outsiders soon starting torturing the Golden Toads, and cut off their magic mushroom supply causing them to stop glowing.
Unable to bear this kind of treatment, in 1989 the Golden Toads left their habitat under the cover of dampness, and sought refuge in various other ponds and marshes. These refugees have now disappeared completely, and even if they were found, they have no identity or habitat to call their own.
Fun Fact: The Doors have a song dedicated to the Golden Toads, except they mistook them for frogs.
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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Random Fact
Did you know that cold-blooded animals and the temperature of their surroundings are linked?
- Living in Sahara-like climatic conditions? Hang two psychoactive toads outside your window. These toads will absorb the heat from the surrounding area, and bring the overall temperature down.In addition, lick these toads to be able to read the entrails of a caribou devouring mushroom. This will make the future as foreseeable as the next post on this blog
- Trying to overthrow that dictator who raised manure production 40 fold? Annoyed that air-freshners are, by law, now available only to the elite? Fear not!
Present the dictator with a Pygmy Constrictor of the Peipper Forests, convincing him it's a 'unique' one-size -fits-all belt. Make sure this is done during the dead of winter and there's a mansion-wide blackout. The cold will make the constrictor motionless (to preserve energy). Once the dictator is in the presence of warmth (close to a fire or out in the sun), the Pygmy Constrictor will literally squeeze the life out of him.
Viva la revolución!
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Unknown Knowledge: Inventions
In this epipost of Unknown Knowledge, we shall tackle famous inventors, their inventions and the circumstances that led to these ground breaking creations.
Inventor: The Wright brothers
Inspiration: The driving force behind this invention is completely attributed to Rhythm & Blues singer, Robert Sylvester Kelly (a.k.a. R. Kelly) and his hit song, 'I Believe I Can Fly'.
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Invention: Ballpoint Pen
Inventor: John Loud
Inspiration: When the whole neighborhood started using his pool, John Loud, contrary to his name, was very meek in trying to dissuade them from using it. So he invented the messy ballpoint pen. He would sneakily drop it into the pool when it was crowded. This would spread a dark blue color, and everyone would be disgusted and get out as quickly as possible.
Also, it could be used to write when not a practical joke device.
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Invention: Automatic Bread Slicer
Inventor: Otto Frederick Rohwedder
Inspiration: Otto hated shuffling cards. Every time there was poker being played, he would be laughed at since he wasn't able to split the cards.
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Invention: AirplaneInventor: The Wright brothers
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Invention: Ballpoint Pen
Inventor: John Loud
Inspiration: When the whole neighborhood started using his pool, John Loud, contrary to his name, was very meek in trying to dissuade them from using it. So he invented the messy ballpoint pen. He would sneakily drop it into the pool when it was crowded. This would spread a dark blue color, and everyone would be disgusted and get out as quickly as possible.
Also, it could be used to write when not a practical joke device.
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Invention: Automatic Bread Slicer
Inventor: Otto Frederick Rohwedder
Inspiration: Otto hated shuffling cards. Every time there was poker being played, he would be laughed at since he wasn't able to split the cards.
He quickly googled for remedies and suggestions, and found out that getting things automated was the best solution. Hence he made the automated Card Splitter.
However, his friends laughed at that as well, since it was totally useless while playing cards. Frustration mounted as Otto saw it lying unused on the kitchen slab. All that work was for nothing. He flung the closest thing he could grab at the Card Splitter, and voila! The automated bread slicer was created.
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Invention: Gas Mask
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Invention: Disposable Diaper
Inventor: Marion Donovan
Inspiration: Initially, Marion invented the disposable diaper for her drunk friends and herself for when they went out partying. It would be worn around the face, and prevented the regurgitated content from spilling to the outside world. A couple of drunk mothers started using the diaper around the wrong end of the baby, but it worked as successfully, if not better. Soon this became the standard.
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Invention: Gas Mask
Inventor: Garrett Morgan
Inspiration:While in school, Garrett Morgan shared a room with a foodie. Every time Garrett Morgan entered his room, it would be filled with hydrogen sulfide-like gases, of varying concentrations. 'Chemistry Experiments!', his roomie would cry out. Due to the constant emissions, Garrett Morgan was unable to sleep, eat, or study in his room anymore. Thence, he created the gas mask.
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Invention: Mechanical Pencil
Inventor: Tokuji Hayakawa
Inspiration: As a kid, Tokuji Hayakawa wasn't very tall, and was always picked on. Rage drove him to plan revenge. He had to do it without anyone knowing. The best place would be in class. So, he created the mechanical pencil. Using this, he was sure that he could get back at his bullies many clicks at a time. As long as they stayed still, for however long it took him to get the pencil lead to the required length, he'd be able to poke them where it'd hurt the most.
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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.
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