Lighting a match? Think twice!

An entire population is quickly consumed by the raging virus

Original One Liner

Recycling is like karma... it always comes back to you.

Unknown Knowledge: Inventions

In this epipost of Unknown Knowledge, we shall tackle famous inventors, their inventions and the circumstances that led to these ground breaking creations.

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Invention: Airplane
Inventor: The Wright brothers

Inspiration: The driving force behind this invention is completely attributed to Rhythm & Blues singer, Robert Sylvester Kelly (a.k.a. R. Kelly) and his hit song, 'I Believe I Can Fly'.

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Invention: Ballpoint Pen
Inventor: John Loud

Inspiration: When the whole neighborhood started using his pool, John Loud, contrary to his name, was very meek in trying to dissuade them from using it. So he invented the messy ballpoint pen. He would sneakily drop it into the pool when it was crowded. This would spread a dark blue color, and everyone would be disgusted and get out as quickly as possible.
Also, it could be used to write when not a practical joke device.

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Invention: Automatic Bread Slicer
Inventor: Otto Frederick Rohwedder

Inspiration: Otto hated shuffling cards. Every time there was poker being played, he would be laughed at since he wasn't able to split the cards.

He quickly googled for remedies and suggestions, and found out that getting things automated was the best solution. Hence he made the automated Card Splitter.

However, his friends laughed at that as well, since it was totally useless while playing cards. Frustration mounted as Otto saw it lying unused on the kitchen slab. All that work was for nothing. He flung the closest thing he could grab at the Card Splitter, and voila! The automated bread slicer was created.

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Invention: Disposable Diaper

Inventor: Marion Donovan

Inspiration: Initially, Marion invented the disposable diaper for her drunk friends and herself for when they went out partying. It would be worn around the face, and prevented the regurgitated content from spilling to the outside world. A couple of drunk mothers started using the diaper around the wrong end of the baby, but it worked as successfully, if not better. Soon this became the standard.

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Invention: Gas Mask

Inventor: Garrett Morgan

Inspiration:While in school, Garrett Morgan shared a room with a foodie. Every time Garrett Morgan entered his room, it would be filled with hydrogen sulfide-like gases, of varying concentrations. 'Chemistry Experiments!', his roomie would cry out. Due to the constant emissions, Garrett Morgan was unable to sleep, eat, or study in his room anymore. Thence, he created the gas mask.

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Invention: Mechanical Pencil

Inventor: Tokuji Hayakawa

Inspiration: As a kid, Tokuji Hayakawa wasn't very tall, and was always picked on. Rage drove him to plan revenge. He had to do it without anyone knowing. The best place would be in class. So, he created the mechanical pencil. Using this, he was sure that he could get back at his bullies many clicks at a time. As long as they stayed still, for however long it took him to get the pencil lead to the required length, he'd be able to poke them where it'd hurt the most.

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Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Q&A Time: Unbearable Best Friends

Hello my confused friends. It's that space again in the blog, where I answer a fictional someone's conundrum pertaining to life, technology and cookies. Welcome to,

 'Hypothetical Questions & Answers'

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The question of the space comes from Sam of Crouquette City, who asks,

Q: 

Dear Blogger/Vimal/I.I,

I have a best friend who's always been there for me, through thick and thin. I know he's always got my back, and we generally have a good time. But of late, he seems to have become annoying. He causes great pain and grief by getting in the way of everything. He acts crazy sometimes.
For instance, I was deeply hurt when he lay passed out in the middle of the street like a drunk hobo. If I wasn't there, he'd probably have been walked over by those busy downtown businessmen. He has let go of himself, and hasn't shaved for ever.

We don't see eye to eye these days, and there are occasions where I had to chase him away.

Can you please help me solve this issue?

A:

Dear Sam,

This situation is surprisingly pretty common among big-tailed dogs like you. I suggest you get used to your tail being there.

You could surgically remove it, but look at how weird a doberman is without its tail. Just be more careful around moving objects like cars and people, and ask your owner to trim your fur all over. It must be the heat, after all.

Follow my advice, and you should be fine. Hope I've been able to help you out. Thank you for sending in your question.

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So that's it for now folks. If you have a hypothetical question that needs answering, ask away! Until next time, I bid you, vida!

Random Call-to-Arms!

Dear idli-eaters and vada-dealers,

Hear me good and hear me well.

Pani-puri makers and mallu bakers,

Rise to the top with what you sell.

India is rising like a chapatti.

Rupee value is dropping like an unfolding lungi,

Wives are being measured by their gold.

But wait! But hold!

We are growing,

We are off-shoring.

There's lesser road side pee,

And more malls of A/C.

There's a market for everyone,

Regardless of the international shun.

Join hands entrepreneurs and money-launderers,

For turning black money to white is fun!

We have the politicians,

Who'll resist the oncoming change, and some.

Bribe is a way of life,

Don't trust someone who won't accept one.

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

The Greatest Unresolved Battle

Tea, or Coffee.

Personally, I'm a die hard fan of a nice cup of filter coffee. I often would like to say, "It's filter coffee way, or the gully way", but I don't.

On the negative Z-axis though, I love iced tea. And usually when I go to a Chinese restaurant, I'd like to order some Oolong tea.

I'm basically like a flipped coin that landed vertically.

So I took two phrases, one relating to each one, and attempted to break it down.

Now, in the blue corner, weighing a packet of international appeal, is coffee. It's most popular phrase being, 'Coffee break'.

In the red corner, careening to expensive types of leaves, is tea with its popular phrase being 'Tea-time'.

The battle between the two comes down to technicality.


First off,  COFFEE - BREAKS

• A coffee-break can be taken whenever.
• Makes room for impromptu get-togethers 
• It is more random and spontaneous. 
• It cannot be dependable on a daily basis (and hence the sometimes exclaimed, 'Give me a break').
• Due to it's lack of a fixed time slot, it needs to be allotted some time at possible opportunities, and this results in coffee breaks appearing many times a day (especially college canteens when you skip class). 
• Flexible enough to accommodate tea-time snacks into the itinerary. 

Next,  TEA-TIME

• Tea-time is a fixed time of the day.
• A daily schedule revolves around tea-time (for example, 'I say, why not you and your wife join us for some tea. Jolly good, ho ho, and all that old chap).
• Is very orderly, similar to a very well disciplined army general.
• It can be counted on to be there every single day, but lacks spontaneity due to the set routine established. 
• Since tea-time is at an established time, it definitely appears divisibly (made up word) lesser than coffee-breaks.
• It has a huge range of snacks dedicated to it, known as tea-time snacks.

Conclusion
Well, if you are orderly, disciplined, have a daily routine, etc. then you should soothe your 'non-spontaneous and predictable life style influenced' mind by drinking tea, like a gentle man/ lady.

And if you are spontaneous, excitable and impromptu, then you should mellow down your fickle, 'No future plans for life' mind by enjoying a nice hot cup of kappa.

For everything else, it's a tie.

Holy Smoke!

Found at Bombay Mart...

One letter short from the brand name, which would have made it the ultimate spiritual high!!!

Monopoly

Just when you thought Disney had a monopoly over theme parks and family movies...

              

Seems like they'll end up being the Google of consumer goods too, starting with 'Premium Bananas'.

Bougie-ness!

What is with Indian restaurants and their jugs of water with uncut lemons bobbing in them? I wouldn't have an issue if they were cut, but uncut? Let's refer to this as 'Unlemon Water'.

I understand there are health advantages to drinking unlemon water, but for that, the lemons need to be in the water for a prolonged period of time, or at least cut open, for heaven's sake.
If you've ever been in a decent Indian restaurant, you know the kind of crowd that's expected. That's more because of the Indian population rather than the actual popularity of the restaurant.
The point is, because of the crowd, there's never enough time for the water to soak in the goodness from these uncut lemons, before it's completely served to customers. The jugs then have to be filled with fresh water, and quickly served again.
This might work in other countries or restaurants where there's smaller population

This is just complete bougie-ness from the restaurant's part, and I really see a lot of impression creating rather than practical use these days.

Rant for the day, DONE!

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.