Q&A Time: Unbearable Best Friends

Hello my confused friends. It's that space again in the blog, where I answer a fictional someone's conundrum pertaining to life, technology and cookies. Welcome to,

 'Hypothetical Questions & Answers'

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The question of the space comes from Sam of Crouquette City, who asks,

Q: 

Dear Blogger/Vimal/I.I,

I have a best friend who's always been there for me, through thick and thin. I know he's always got my back, and we generally have a good time. But of late, he seems to have become annoying. He causes great pain and grief by getting in the way of everything. He acts crazy sometimes.
For instance, I was deeply hurt when he lay passed out in the middle of the street like a drunk hobo. If I wasn't there, he'd probably have been walked over by those busy downtown businessmen. He has let go of himself, and hasn't shaved for ever.

We don't see eye to eye these days, and there are occasions where I had to chase him away.

Can you please help me solve this issue?

A:

Dear Sam,

This situation is surprisingly pretty common among big-tailed dogs like you. I suggest you get used to your tail being there.

You could surgically remove it, but look at how weird a doberman is without its tail. Just be more careful around moving objects like cars and people, and ask your owner to trim your fur all over. It must be the heat, after all.

Follow my advice, and you should be fine. Hope I've been able to help you out. Thank you for sending in your question.

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So that's it for now folks. If you have a hypothetical question that needs answering, ask away! Until next time, I bid you, vida!

Story Behind Nursery Rhymes

Jack & Jill - Losing Control Over Life

Jack & Jill were two responsible adults who had decent paying jobs, good set of friends, and a life anyone would love to have. They were leading a good life, but at some point, they began getting bored of the routine and monotony. That's when they decided they wanted to do something different. Unfortunately, that led to an unwanted introduction to crack.

Soon they were hooked. They couldn't spend a day without getting high. Meals made way to crack. Life only seemed to get between sessions of getting high.
To prevent society from knowing this dark secret, they would frequent the desolate subway station, known as 'The Hill', where they would go about satisfying this dangerous craving.

There was a new variant of crack on the streets known as 'H20', which was getting rave reviews from those crack heads who could manage to mumble their pleasure on using it.

The potency of H20 saw Jack & Jill lose their jobs because they couldn't stay off it. Soon enough, Jack was broke having spent all his pounds on attaining H20. As the pail of empty drug packets in the corner started piling up, Jack's bank account and any sign he was earning under the crown, was disappearing.

Out of money and addicted, Jack depended heavily on Jill to get them money so they could get high. Slowly, all the money Jill had saved for their future together was gone as well, and she spiraled into dehumanizing acts to make money.

The end wasn't far from when Jack went broke, and they disappeared soon enough. No one knows what happened to them. To this day, kids are taught the devastating influence of drugs, and especially H20, through the form of a nursery rhyme.

The End

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.

Science: Light & Sound

Proof light travels faster than sound can be seen in everyday situations, such as,

• When a girl slaps a random guy who pinched her backside, you see the guy's head spin because of the impact, before you hear him cry in pain
• When the same guy jumps the wall of the girl's house in the middle of the night, you see the guard dog bite before the scream and the flight
• The guy's cheeks flushing red with embarrassment is seen before his friends laughter is heard, as they listen to the guy's night adventure 
• You see on Facebook that guy changed his status from 'Single' to 'It's Complicated ' thinking that he might actually have a chance at a relationship with that random girl. Then he calls and tells you

Stay tuned for more wonderful science and life instances.

Marriage Invite

So, my cousin's getting married, and part of the whole marriage process is formally inviting friends and family to the wedding... Unfortunately, my cousin's perception of a formal invite is slightly skewed...

---------   The "Formal" Invite   ---------

Lovers!!

I am getting married to my girlfriend of more than 3 interspaced years, with the last year spent virtually (thank god for skype).

Please treat this as a formal invitation to all you buggers and your bugger's families and lovers and all those you pay to love you to my wedding in coconutland on the 16th of May 2010 and the reception in Bangalore on the 22nd  of May.

But more seriously, i will publicly abuse you if you come up with any excuses for missing either one or both.So please update your calendars,blackberry phones,palm leaves,whatever . 

Do let me know if you guys are coming from out of town and need a place to stay. I should be able to arrange for the acco.A little before hand would definitely make things easier though.

And yes, ill try and send out the invitation card properly as well.As soon as its printed.

Cheeresh!!

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It's too funny not to have it's place in here...

Used items

So I was just wondering when used stuff go back on the market as second hand items, their value more often than not, goes down (antiques & collector's items excluded). So what happens when someone goes back onto the singles' market?