Did you know that cold-blooded animals and the temperature of their surroundings are linked?
- Living in Sahara-like climatic conditions? Hang two psychoactive toads outside your window. These toads will absorb the heat from the surrounding area, and bring the overall temperature down.In addition, lick these toads to be able to read the entrails of a caribou devouring mushroom. This will make the future as foreseeable as the next post on this blog
- Trying to overthrow that dictator who raised manure production 40 fold? Annoyed that air-freshners are, by law, now available only to the elite? Fear not!
Present the dictator with a Pygmy Constrictor of the Peipper Forests, convincing him it's a 'unique' one-size -fits-all belt. Make sure this is done during the dead of winter and there's a mansion-wide blackout. The cold will make the constrictor motionless (to preserve energy). Once the dictator is in the presence of warmth (close to a fire or out in the sun), the Pygmy Constrictor will literally squeeze the life out of him.
Viva la revolución!
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