Science: Sneeze Power

What is the power of a simple sneeze?
Before we get to the nitty gritty details of a sneeze, we need to understand what is a sneeze, and how it is generated.

---

Structure
Your body is actually a miniature empire that is always on the move (controlled by the High Neuron Priests of the temple of Brain). It contains soldiers who fight off invading armies, and are always on high alert against spies and infiltrators.

Soldiers present along the Wall of Mucous are The Body's alarm system. Sometimes though, they tend to fall sleep, or get distracted by the beautiful female family members of R.B.Cells. This is forbidden love, but how it came to be so, will be covered in another post. Enemy soldiers usually wait for this opportunity to try and sneak in.




Working
Enemy soldiers keep trying to enter the empire of The Body. Most of them get caught in the smart trap laid by the soldiers in the Margove trees of the Nose Swamps.

However, these defenses are not always fail-safe, and sometimes a large invading force manages to enter the empire.
When overrun, the mystic priests of the temple of Brain call upon their presiding deity of Vaccuumus Airus. This cowardly deity has an inherent fear of the invading army. This God observes which direction the enemy is in as it rises from the ocean. It then faces the other direction and makes a run for it. The force of the sand sprayed backwards by this God as he flees, results in all the enemies being expelled powerfully.

This is what we call a sneeze.

---

Now that we have the structure of working of a sneeze, imagine harnessing it. Imagine harnessing the combined sneezes of all your fellow country men (and women of course). What could the potential uses of this be? Well, let me list them out, my friends.

---

Uses

• Biological Warfare: Sprinkle some disease germs and unleash the collective expullsive force of the National Sneezerator.

• Ever-ready Rain: Large scale combined sneezes will alter the pressure system in the nation, drawing in moisture laiden clouds from the sea. When this is blocked by the mountains of giant fish bones piled on by that pirate bear crew everyone's been on the lookout for, it should result in a monsoon of heavy sneezefall.

• National Emergency Siren: Justin Beiber albums invading your country? Is the nation surrounded by twerking GIFs? Fear not! Alert the nation to these calamities, and more, with the help of the Sneeze-iren. This combines the the sound volumes of the whole nation's sneezers, and launches it all at the same time. Everyone is sure to hear it.
  
  

• Prevent surveillance: Unleashing the ever dependable Sneezerator in the desert will create a dust cloud. This will prevent satellite surveillance by foreign countries.

• Immigration Control: The main result of the sneeze is to remove foreign bodies. So allowing authorities to randomly fire the public with the Sneezegration Law Gun will automatically blow away only the illegal immigrants and terrorists into neighbouring countries.

• Higher Pardons: The advantageous side effect to using the sneeze theory in protecting the nation, regardless of extreme and brutal force it brings with it, is that it's always followed by a polite 'Excuse me', No nation is resistant to this politeness, and will always result in being 'excused'.

---

Stay tuned to this blog, for more exciting Science lessons in the near future.

Disclaimer: I have no rights over the images used in the blog/post, and have used them with no intention to distribute them or make any money out of them.